Someone is clueless about viruses? Send them a clue

"We want to unleash viruses on our network as a test..."

A compilation by Rob Rosenberger

Did you ever touch the paint because you couldn't take a "wet paint" sign at face value? Read some actual messages left by network gurus who wanted to receive viruses because they can't believe antivirus software will work until they see it in action for themselves.

A philosophical question
Do these same people test air bags, seatbelts, bumpers, and integrated child safety seats before buying an automobile?

Michael Kutz posted this message in CompuServe's NCSA forum on 4/26/96:

"We are testing and implementing anti-virus software on our network and are in search of as many different types of viruses as we can find. Can anyone out there tell me where to find or receive viruses that may be archived?"

Dave Dunlap posted this message in CompuServe's NCSA forum on 6/21/96:

Just installed a product called MimeSweeper which scans incoming email from the Internet before it enters the client's ccmail gateway. It includes an eval version of F-PROT. We would like to test the functionality of MimeSweeper by attempting to email in several "infected" files in various formats -- zipped, uuencoded, mime encoded, plain vanilla, etc. Are there any "test files" which could be used for this purpose?

Other people who want to obtain viruses

Network administrators aren't the only ones who want to obtain viruses. The list includes:

Lecturers

From an Internet user, sent to Rob Rosenberger on 5/22/96:

"I am about to conduct a 1 day seminar on Viruses, where can I download some demo viruses to show to my audience and are there articles on developing anti-viruses. This could be very helpful to my students who have a desire to developed [sic] Anti-Virus utilities.... [PS:] Is there an internet virus?

(See the 'False Authority Syndrome' treatise for more information.)

Budding antivirus authors

Programmers sometimes ask antivirus companies to cough up sample viruses. A representative at one antivirus firm (who asked to remain anonymous) views these requests with utter disdain. "Don't these people have a clue? ...'Hi, I want to be your direct competitor and maybe even force you into bankruptcy court. Would you give me [a copy of] your virus library so I can get started?"

Rody van Sambeek posted this short, awkwardly worded message in CompuServe's PC Utilities forum on 5/23/96:

"Does anybody of you all have the Winword Concept virus? I would like to have it so I can try to create a anti-macrovirus program or something please send it to me."

(What does the "or something" mean?)

[Not to be confused with a different Rody van Sambeek, born in 1987, who was nine years old when this message was posted on CompuServe.]

Some of them just don't get it

A reporter will someday proclaim this guy "a genius" in the computer virus field...

Jakree Sakunbongkot posted this short message in the alt.comp.virus newsgroup on 1/1/97:

I want to learn about virus deeyenda please you send me this virus to me on this newsgroup thank you...

(His ".th" email address indicates a non-English-speaking country, so we can forgive the awkward sentence structure.)

The blatantly obvious

Then of course you occasionally run across individuals who just don't care what others think of them. These "wannabees" always seem to post awkwardly worded messages, as if they ironically have no prior experience with the Internet...

A person who identified himself only as Dr. Fake posted this awkwardly worded message in CompuServe's NCSA forum on 5/27/96:

"I am in need of some source code to write new viruses please can anyone supply me with source codes, also if anyone has any virus infected files please send them to me. i also need to know or join up with anyone who is interested in writing viruses please email me. I would be happy to ehar from ex members of NUKE, RABID GROUP or SUPER HACKER... i would be grateful for a response thankyou."

David Maiden demanded free products from Dr. Alan Solomon's company via an awkwardly posted message he posted in CompuServe's NCSA forum on 6/9/96:

"I Have Got Hold Of Many Viruses Off The Internet - I Have Lot's Of Copies And Solomon Is The Only One That Recognised Them All. I Have Downloaded Them From A Sight Which I Will Not Tell You Until You Send Me The Latest Registered Version Of Solomon For Windows 95. If I Get You Mail Address I Will Enclose Virus Lists, The Colors 95 Microsoft Word Virus, The Bizatch Virus With Source (BOZA) + A FileFake Virus. You Will Recieve The Full Internet Address's When I Recieve The Registered Version Of Dr. Solomon!"