It’s the first round of a typical ULBPC tourney. “rsnbrgr” was crippled a few hands earlier when he pushed all in pre-flop with pocket aces and got called by “Patotana” with an ace-muck that nailed trips. On this hand, “rsnbrgr” is playing multiple tables and has overlooked the fact he only has 80 chips left at this table; he stupidly limps from middle position with pocket fives.

Big stack “ICE17600″ bullies the table with a raise to 6xBB. “monkeybamaw” calls it. “rsnbrgr” finally realizes his stupidity and is forced to call all in because he’s getting 2:1 (albeit vs. two opponents).

The flop gives “rsnbrgr” an inside straight draw; his opponents check. The turn completes his straight — but it brings a third heart, giving him a horrible flush draw that almost any other flush will beat. On the bright side: “rsnbrgr” also gains a straight flush draw.

The turn card hands “ICE17600″ the nut flush and he bets nearly three times the pot against “monkeybamaw,” who instantly folds. But the river saves “rsnbrgr” with a runner-runner straight flush. He claims a paltry 270 chips in the main pot to triple up…

It’s still the first round of an ULBPC event. “dieidee” pushes all in with pocket kings. “jois82″ calls all in with a pathetic offsuit A4. “Rav707″ calls all in as well with a pathetic offsuit A3. The race is on.

The flop brings three middle clubs, giving “jois82″ the nut flush draw. The turn brings a fourth club, crushing the other two players — but setting them up for an all-way split if the club 8 falls on the river. Sure enough, the river puts a straight flush on the board.

The club jack would create a higher straight flush, but it’s not out there.

The bubble long ago burst in this typical ULBPC event. “biker1704″ knows how to use his big stack and he predictably raises on the button. “rsnbrgr” folds in the SB. “CARMEN707″ has already paid the BB and is pot-committed with her tiny remaining stack. She pushes all in with any two cards and “biker1704″ is compelled to call with any two cards.

“biker1704″ turns over a pathetic T9 offsuit … then discovers he dominates the short stack’s pathetic suited 92. But the flop gives “CARMEN707″ the dominating full house, and the turn seals it with a full apartment. “CARMEN707″ doubles up.

It’s the ninth hand of a typical ULBPC tourney. Three players (who aren’t sitting out) are crippled with only 1/5 to 1/3 of their original stacks. That’s when “rsnbrgr” gets dealt pocket rockets.

“rsnbrgr” isn’t sure if the players have settled down yet. “CHERSH” is flush with chips and may be willing to defend his paltry SB with any two cards. “kastrodan” is up a third on his stack and he may be willing to gamble. Then there’s the three crippled stacks — any one of them might take a chance with any two cards.

“Isaboule1982″ folds under the gun, keeping her short stack. “rsnbrgr” knows his aces might get cracked if the other two shorties gang up on him — but it’ll only cost him 1/3 of his chips at most to tangle with either or both of them. He really wants one of the two larger stacks to call his all-in. If this scenario plays out, the small stack will only get 2:1 vs. aces while the chip leader will only get 1:1 in a larger side pot vs. aces. Only “rsnbrgr” can make a positive expected value in this situation.

“rsnbrgr” makes his move and “BLDBROS” obliges, calling off his small stack with a pathetic 54 offsuit. “kastrodan” and the other small stack elect to fold; “CHERSH” sacrifices the SB. The race is on.

“rsnbrgr” flops a full house for the win. Adding insult to injury: the turn brings the case ace for a full apartment. Topping it all off: the river pairs “BLDBROS” kicker — giving him a useless three pair that would lose to a guy with 62 offsuit…

It’s a fast & furious game — the bubble has already burst in the very first round. “masterdejavu” is a 100% raising station who won a couple of all-in gambles with muck hands. “rsnbrgr” decides to complete the SB to entice his raise … but “masterdejavu” oddly checks his option.

The flop gives “rsnbrgr” the nut straight on a rainbow board. He checks and “masterdejavu” finally does the predictable thing with a serious overbet. “squeaky54″ calls it. “rsnbrgr” pushes all in because he knows “masterdejavu” won’t take the re-raise very kindly. “masterdejavu” calls it as expected; “squeaky54″ thinks about it for awhile, then folds.

“masterdejavu” turns over nothing more than middle pair with a bad kicker. The turn pairs the board, giving him a draw to a full house — but it also gives “rsnbrgr” a straight flush draw. The river gives “rsnbrgr” a runner-runner straight flush and he doubles up…

This ULBPC table has settled down a bit. Three players limp into the hand and the SB completes. “big al4444″ exercises his option to raise 6xBB; everyone but the SB calls it. The pot has 510 chips.

“BigNick77777″ called the pre-flop raise with pocket eights and gets rewarded with top set. But rainbow low cards on the flop hint at some dangerous straight draws. “big al4444″ now realizes he’s out of position, so he meekly bets 120 to see where he stands (signaling he’s got big slick or big chick). Everyone flat-calls it, much to his dismay. The pot has 990 chips, nearly equal to each of his opponents’ stacks.

The turn brings another 6 — “BigNick7777″ has filled up and no longer fears a straight or flush. Better yet for him: “granny love” has turned trips, ace high. “big al4444″ makes another meek bet out of position to see where he stands. “BigNick77777″ makes a minimum raise to keep him in the pot. Suddenly, “granny love” pushes all in over the top. “big al4444″ finally mucks his hand and “BigNick77777″ gleefully calls it for everything he’s got.

The players turn over their cards and “granny love” sees the bad news. But the river brings the case 6 and “BigNick77777″ busts out to quads. “granny love” rakes in a 3,290 pot.

The game has settled down after the first few wild opening hands. Three players limp, the SB folds, and “rsnbrgr” checks his option with muck. The pot has 135 chips.

The flop does nothing more for “rsnbrgr” than pair his 4. He checks. Chip leader “Altmar Mark” makes the minimum bet and everyone calls it. The pot now has 255 chips.

The turn gives “rsnbrgr” trips with a bad kicker. It gets checked around to “Lake0011,” a calling station who makes a minimum bet. “rsnbrgr” worries the player might be trying to sweeten the pot with a flush draw, so he re-raises roughly the pot to make it mathematically wrong to chase. Everyone folds around to “Lake0011″ who makes the call. The pot now has 735 chips.

The river brings the quad 4. “rsnbrgr” bets 5/7 of the pot because he believes the calling station will oblige him with any paired card or a pair. “Lake0011″ indeed calls for the loss with a full house — even though any pair above threes, any queen, and the case 4 beats him. “rsnbrgr” takes down a 1,735 pot…

A “slow speed” 100/200 side table has run for two hours with no brazen aggression from any player. But it’s late-night on a Saturday and that means a “cold deck” hand will almost certainly play out. Chip leader “rsnbrgr” has played 170+ hands in an ultra-conservative fashion at this table and he’s treating the blinds as mere antes.

“Hafast” limps under the gun; “niick84″ and “cheque07″ follow. “planetwoody” raises 6xBB with pocket queens. “ClarkCable” has just sat down with 40k and pushes it all in with pocket nines, possibly hoping to isolate. The button instantly folds. “rsnbrgr” has pocket kings in the SB and he, too, pushes it all in. “ProfPhluke” in the BB has only a suited T6 but he suddenly decides to gamble 20k. “planetwoody” decides to go up against the crowd and he pushes in his remaining 11k.

The flop brings quads for “rsnbrgr” and the river yields a full apart­ment for a 113k bonanza. Adding insult to injury: nobody else improved their hand by the river…

The players have settled down to a real poker tourney. “barbiedoll08″ limps under the gun on the short stack. Everyone folds around to “rsnbrgr,” who completes with a suited ace. “paukengott” checks his option.

The flop brings a nut flush draw for “rsnbrgr” with a straight flush redraw. Everyone checks. The turn pairs a 4 for “rsnbrgr.” Everyone checks again.

The river card gives “rsnbrgr” the stone cold nuts. Better yet: it completes numerous straights & flushes. “rsnbrgr” makes a brazen move and pushes all in on a pot with only 90 chips — figuring his two opponents either have nothing or they’ll pay any price.

“paulengott” calls a whopping 1,370 chips to claim 90 with nothing more than the low end of a straight. “barbiedoll08″ calls all-in to triple up with a nut straight when any flush will beat her. The brazen move by “rsnbrgr” turns 90 into 3,480 chips…

It’s the fourth round of a typical ULBPC tourney, waiting for the bubble to burst. “rsnbrgr” has bided his time with conservative play. He has M=23, Q=0.9 and decides to prospect with pocket 7s. Chip leader “and2471″ oddly elects to sacrifice the SB. “megakeeper” checks his option.

The flop gives “rsnbrgr” quads, but there’s a big problem: the board has no straight draws, only a flush draw. “rsnbrgr” checks because he knows the other players must reach the river to catch something useful. It gets checked around.

The turn brings a ten and a second flush draw. It gets checked around to “Lucky Dewey” on the button, who meekly bets the minimum. “rsnbrgr” feels his opponent may only be sweetening the pot with a drawing hand (89, 8J, 9J, or something suited). He elects to flat-call; “megakeeper” folds.

The river brings an offsuit 5, one of the truly useless cards in the deck — it kills every draw. “rsnbrgr” bets 3/5 of the pot and prays his opponent has pocket 5s. But “Lucky Dewey” simply folds, depriving “rsnbrgr” of his expected value for the hand…